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You will NEVER be a pony with aspirations of becoming a famous author, who travels to Ponyville hoping to interview those involved in the redemption of Princess Luna for your latest book idea. You will not meet a humble, yet somewhat reserved Twilight Sparkle in the town's library, who -- at first -- reveals little about herself or her role in the event, but eventually is worn down by the charming and whimsical stories with which you entertain her. As time moves forward, she opens up to you, revealing all of her fears and uncertainty about her place in the world, to which you respond, "If you ask me, my dear, you're exactly where you should be and no one should ever doubt the truth of that."
She will not blush, will not lean forward and plant a gentle kiss upon your lips, will not nuzzle you while whispering "let's go upstairs and start on a new chapter of your story" before leading you to her bed for an amazing night of passion.
All while Spike stands in the middle of the library, jerkin' it like a rabid ferret while belting out Robert Klein's "I can't stop my leg" at the top of his lungs.