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11/23/11(Wed)00:45 No. 31667821 OK, whether is was this new Caralight chapter, this horrible down pour, having drenched clothes on for 4 hours straight, or losing a important sticky with an email on it, I've been thinking about a few things, mainly, how I'm probably never going to have a real friend like everyone else. I saw these 4 people in my math class, joking around, talking about Breaking Dawn, how good it was, being disrespectful to the professor, and being absent minded of what was going on in the class. And despite knowing this behavior is what I despise whenever I see it posted online, I am unable to shake this feeling that this is what being together with friends is like, no matter the content. But I can't bring myself down to that level of thinking, the style of popular culture or relate to the things other people find in each other and which bring them closer. And posting about ponys, here, now, doesn't dull this feeling of forever alone, ponys don't have shit to do with it. I could be doing so much right now, drawing, writing in general, reading these many novels in my house, studying these topic that will come in handy latter on, learn computer skills that are beyond my level right now. But I have no passion to do so, nothing inside me that want's to do anything with a fierce determination. And it's not there when I see friends laughing and sharing moments together. I feel nothing but contempt, and I don't know how to stop feeling this procrastinative feel.