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!!cJ4MGVqvOKw 08/14/11(Sun)18:21 No.28719338>>28719188 That makes sense. More conflict, more drama, more specificity, I can handle. I think. I guess I was too focused on preserving the whole "don't worry, everything will turn out fine in the end" element of the show? I can appreciate there has to be a distinction between the reality of it and the illusion, and that there needs to be drama, though. So should I include something about the other ponies not accepting her? It just never struck me as something that would work in a setting that's based on the ideas of accepting your friends for who they are...I don't know, man, that's really conflicting. I'll definitely to take it to heart and try to improve, though!
>>28719206 Ah, alright, glad to hear. It was really more experimentation on my part than anything, the second person thing, and I can understand it's confusing. Hell, I got confused at times, writing it! I just wanted to see if I could get myself and the readers into her head. When you say her thoughts were generic, do you mean they could have applied to any character, or that they were just trite thoughts? Maybe I should rewrite it in the third person...but yeah, I can understand where you're coming from. Thanks for reading, guys, and the comments, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! |