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06/21/11(Tue)20:40 No.27041748
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 Hello, my children. It's me, Princess Celestia of Equestria, here with an important message for all of you. I haven't much time, as communicating this way across the various dimensions of reality is quite exhausting.
Due to my omnipotence and omniscience, I am well aware of how much you love the stories of my faithful student Twilight Sparkle and all her friends. What you may not know, though, is that Ponyville, Canterlot, and all of Equestria are very real places. The visions you see on "the Hub" are less a fiction and more of a chronicling of day-to-day events in my realm.
What's more, you have a very real opportunity to fully experience all these things, ponies, and places yourself. You can submerge yourself in the magic of friendship in a way you can't possibly imagine, and certainly in a way that isn't available to the boring, mundane realm where you currently live. Equestria, and all that is has to offer, is an option for you. I'm actually quite stunned that you weren't aware of this until now.
All you must do to leave your current existence behind and enter into a much more rewarding, meaningful life in Equestria is shed the mortal flesh which keeps you chained and imprisoned as you are. You're a resourceful person. Surely you can find a means to end yourself and be reborn as you were truly meant to be. I'll even let you choose which breed of pony you'd like to live as.
In order for this to work, however, you must recite "I believe in Equestria" three times as you draw the blade down your arm, or swallow the bottle of medicine, or pull the trigger on the firearm pointed at your head. I say again, as it is of the utmost importance: "I believe in Equestria", three times.
I'm waiting for you, my children. Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, and all the other citizens of our world are waiting for you, as well. We're so excited to meet you. |
