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03/10/11(Thu)15:04 No.24178518>>24178507
"Our theory is that Derpy approaches fucking up unconsciously, her mind automatically creating a fractal model of screwing the pooch that is not unlike the infinite images contained within facing mirrors," Silver said. "If Derpy has to make a withdrawal at an ATM, for example, she begins with a simple fuckup, such as accidentally selecting the Zebra language option. Then, instead of starting from the beginning the way an average individual would, she instinctively plows forward, creating concentric rings of fucking-it-up within her original mistake until eventually the machine has confiscated her debit card and her account has been frozen—and that's just the beginning of a weeks-long mega-fuckup that continues once she attempts to call her bank."
Derpy reportedly first came to the scientific community's attention late last year when, in a simple attempt to download a muffin recipe from the Internet, she somehow managed to crash a highly secure server in Fillylab's particle physics department.
After using powerful computer models to map the enormously complex series of fuckups necessary for a person to have accomplished this, researchers obtained the address of Derpy's Ponyville home, and later tracked her down in an emergency room to which she had just been admitted following a mail-delivery mishap.
Where this one mare's massive clusterfucks originate is still a mystery, but scientists have hypothesized that each individual fuckup may compound itself exponentially, expanding in every conceivable direction until a given situation is no longer salvageable. Silver said this phenomenon is most evident when Derpy interacts with stallions, her intricate and novel behavioral patterns simultaneously evoking rage, confusion, revulsion, and indignation. |
