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!J8wKEZOcc2 12/24/10(Fri)10:55 No.22134598
File1293206130.png-(84 KB, 300x300, When Manticores Attack.png)
 To Whom it May Concern,
My suicide attempt didn't turn out quite as planned. It took hours to find a manticore. While I was getting my nerve up to approach it must have smelled the bacon and cake. Before I knew it he'd me pinned on the ground by my throat and was roaring. I closed my eyes and began to cry, but really I just wanted it to be over quick. He growled some more and then went quiet. Then he just sniffed me all over. When I peeked open one eye and he was just staring.
He was smiling.
Then he made some weird groan, really loud, and then started licking me all over. His tongue was kind of rough and I thought maybe it was like licking the frosting off a cupcake before eating it. But then he lied down next to me, nuzzling me and making that strange noise again. I wondered if there was a cliff or something I could jump off instead, but he held me too tight to get away.
Suddenly Zecora yelled, "To not be eatin' them ponies it seems I must tutor ya!" He growled at her, but she went right up to his face and muttered some incantation, "So b'jettin' ora el be gettin mahsnips ta neuterya!"
He jumped up and got scared. After one last lick he walked away slowly but kept turning back with such sad eyes. I have to admit, it was nice to feel liked again. (And being licked actually felt nice in a weird way too.)
I looked back at Zecora and she said, "Don't be sad 'cause you have reason to be chirpy. Hungry he was, but he said he'd never eat Derpy."
My heart sank. "But everyone picks on me and I feel so alone!"
She snapped at me, "Don't you be compainin' to ME 'bout lonely. Geez, Derpy, you are one stupid pony." Then she walked away while saying, "Remember, more than pony flesh manticores love their cake, so to go out covered in it's a big mistake. You should be happy, no more whinings or huffins, 'cause he'd a ripped you to bits if you'd been carryin' muffins."
MANURE!
Really pissed,
Bubbly Shines |
