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12/15/10(Wed)19:40 No.21923487>>21923476
"Now, Spike."
Spike knelt before his master.
Twilight withdrew her guitar, Fuckslayer, from a dimension where all screamed for naught.
Wrought from the silver heart of heaven's false promise, laced with vessels that pulsed with angel's menstrual blood, hewn from the horns of Satan's generals, it laughed as it was set loose, a laugh that only Twilight could hear, but no one could share.
Twilight swung the guitar through Spike's chicken neck. She took the head of her fallen dragonslave and tore open her stomach, stuffing the head inside. Twilight vomited steam and summoned a great meteor from space to smash into Ponyville and kill everyone there, for no reason at all. A vision then appeared. It was Celestia, entombed in her cursed mummy armor, calling Twilight from her Moonbase which wasn't on a moon.
"Twilight, you must rock the fuck out."
Twilight channeled her rage through Fuckslayer. The angel blood boiled as she summoned the great meteor, swathed with the blood of the tiny fucklings at Ponyville, leapt onto it, and flew into space. She encased the entire meteor in a wreath of holy fuckfire and flew through Mercury, killing the fuck out of it. Then she sent Mercury's carcass into Venus, killing the fuck out of it and making every vagina in the galaxy explode, and inside every vagina a booby sang of mortal life's fleeting precipice.
Twilight then did fly her meteor through space, punching astral vampires in half with her hooves encased in fuckfire and throwing their ruined heads into the past where they bit cavemen on mars so that history changed and now there are vampire cavemen on mars. Twilight received another vision from Celloesta, who was having tea and chumpits with the president of Pangea.
"Care to have tea, Twilight?"
"You know how I hate chumpits." |